Journey Back Into 16th Century Holland

“Sunstream” magazine, September/ October 2006

frameA couple of days ago, I went through my old tapes and found a recording of my first past life experience as a client. I had the notion at the time, that “I’m invisible”, so the world responded to me how I perceived myself. I was loved and supported by family and friends, yet in the world, automatic doors would not open for me and I found confirmation again and again, that I must be indeed invisible.

Somehow I knew I was re-living someone else’s experience. 20 years ago Past Life Regression was uncommon; nevertheless, I was compelled to do it. I sought out a practitioner. Wanting and searching, I opened an alternative newspaper and there popped out a practitioner’s ad.

We started our session by talking to get familiar with each other. The therapist explained how the session would unfold. I felt very skeptical, yet hoped to find some answers. I was worried I wouldn’t be able to get past my analytical mind, to let it go – to relax. The location was very noisy, with lots of cars passing by. She was a smoker, so all my senses were offended. Those distractions made me wonder, “What am I getting into”? She had me settle down on a couch with a blanket on top of me. She explained that in a relaxed state, the body temperature drops. I closed my eyes and listened to the sound of her voice. I kept thinking: I can smell the tobacco. I can hear the cars. What am I doing here? But, somehow I slipped into my inner world where the smell and noise no longer remained an issue.

She brought me back by asking me to take a deep breath and from that moment, I stayed with her voice. At some point, she asked me to look down with my inner mind at my feet – to my surprise I saw child’s feet wearing clogs. I looked at my body. I was wearing a long skirt, an apron and a strange hat. I was reminded of the fairy tale of Hansel and Gretel. It was 16th century Holland. I was standing in the doorway of a big, grey stone house with the steps leading down into the house. I couldn’t get inside. I was not called yet. It was a dark and damp huge kitchen with an open stove and an old woman cooking. I knew this old woman was my grandmother. The therapist asked me what my grandmother called me. I replied, “she doesn’t call me by my name”. Suddenly I felt a profound sadness – as if the sky broke loose – and I began to cry.

I wanted to hold that child. She was I. It was her despair I kept with me. She was small and invisible. The knowing came that this little girl was carrying all the losses and disappointments for the old woman, who had planned to kill the baby girl at birth, but could not bring herself to do it.

The therapist, in her wisdom, let me cry. When the crying subsided, she gently walked me through time to see how that little girl’s life unfolded. We had a soul to soul conversation with the grandmother. I heard her side of the story and lessons we presented to each other. Finally, I made peace with that life and all the hardship suffered there.

Afterwards, when I walked out of the therapist’s place, I left the attachment to the “invisible “little girl behind. Her pain was no longer inside of me. As for the noise of the traffic and the smoke – I was totally oblivious.

Rifa Hodgson is a Certified Clinical Hypnotherapist, Past Life Regression Therapist as well as Certified “Life Between Lives” Therapist. Her practice “Adventure Into Time and Beyond” combines deep inner work with a sense of adventure. She offers individual and group sessions. Rifa also is a dynamic speaker and storyteller gives public talks to groups or organizations on related topics. She can be reached at 604-741-7944 or e-mail: rifa@lifebetweenlives.ca

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